Battery Conspiracy

Several of the presents our children received this Christmasrequired batteries. Not just any batteries, though, butthe petite triple-A (AAA) sort.

Those batteries are, if you didn’t know, the most expensive andirritating of the battery genus, often costing $8 or more for atiny pack of 2. To add to the insult, they also feature arelatively short lifespan (given that they have less chemicals thattheir bulkier siblings), so they tend to run out quickly inhigh-consumption devices, further exacerbating the cost issue.

I’d write it off as space efficiency, but for the fact that allof the toys that require these tiny batteries are themselvesphysical monsters – a huge garage where the batteries power thesound and lights, and a huge train set, where the monster,forearm-sized remote requires 3 of them.

These aren’t cell-phone sized television remotes, but huge toysthat have no such need for space efficiency.

Two toys alone required 9 triple-A batteries. I hit the batteryreserves to find that we’d stockpiled several dozen double-As, Cs,Ds, and 9Vs, but not a single unused triple-A was in sight.

An expensive trip to the department store later, the toys wereoperational, but I’m prone to suspecting collusion between thebattery industry and the toy industry.