Update

I’m okay.

Months of incredible levels of stress, coupled with weeks of little sleep and the recent sudden passing of my brother Darrell, yielded some deeply irrational, illogical thinking that I of course regret, but can’t erase from my timeline. For any sort of intellectual exercise, like software development, no sleep+stress = a recursive loop of ineffectiveness that generates more stress and even less sleep.

I apologize to those I caused distress, from family to remote individuals who I’ve never met but who cared. This is my first opportunity to post anything on this, and the lack of communications wasn’t an intentional act of dramatic exercise.

In any case, a quick set of thanks-

  • thanks to the many people who cared
  • thanks to the Halton Regional Police (the many fantastic officers, and one profoundly talented K9), who literally saved my life
  • thanks to the remarkable staff of Joseph Brant Hospital
  • thanks to the patients/community of 1 West @ JBH, who opened my eyes to the battles that so many are fighting, and offered friendship and support during a rough period

Not to make light of this ridiculous and very serious situation, but this event yielded a few life happenings that I never expected to have in my biography-

  • Chased by a number of officers through a frigid river
  • Taken down/bitten by a police K9 (who was a model of K9 professionalism, and is a beautiful, extraordinarily well-trained canine officer)
  • Committed involuntarily under the mental health act (e.g. escorted by a guard, locked ward, bed checks, restricted to a hospital gown for several days)

It was an interesting experience that I don’t plan on repeating. The week+ in the hospital gave me the quietest, most reflective period that I’ve had since…forever.

It was the first time I’ve ever truly, successfully meditated. The real, lotus-pose, mind-at-ease meditation that went on for tens of minutes.

I learned an enormous amount about myself as a result (and got various health tests that were long overdue, being conveniently located and all), and came out of it a much better person. Finally dealt with some pretty severe social anxiety that has always been a problem for me.

And for those concerned, various other things got resolved to a good outcome at the same time. The stress+overwhelming tiredness clouded my eyes to options that were available, and everything else is in a much better place.

Dennis